Goodbye Lawndale
by Duff the Magic Dragon
Summary: An epic story on Daria and Jane's final days in Lawndale High. FINAL CHAPTER IS UP! (finally!)
1. Default Chapter

  
Daria  
in   
"Goodbye Lawndale"  
  
By: Caitlin Duffy ( aka duff the magic dragon)  
  
Note: This is a ROUGH DRAFT fic. I've revised but i'm looking for more experienced writers to maybe read this and drop suggestions. There are parts that i'm considering to redo, but i'm currently in a block and i would love the help of readers to point me in the right direction.   
Also:This is part of a multi-chapter story. This is how I would write the series   
finale if I had the choice… no affiliation with MTV…yadda yadda yadda. I wrote   
this fanfic before the season finale and before "Is it College Yet?" Any   
similarities to the final episodes, or any differences, such as were I sent Jane and   
Daria to college, are coincidental or just because I had to guess…well you get the   
picture.  
  
Chapter One:  
  
(Outside Morgendorffer House)  
  
(Opening Music- SSW theme)   
  
(Cut to- Daria and Tom are on the Living room couch, staring blankly ahead. The camera   
turns and we see they are staring at the TV)  
  
TV: ( SSW Music) Hong Kong Phooey! What's in my Chop Suey!? What your local   
Japanese restaurant isn't telling you about your sushi! Tomorrow on Sick Sad World.  
  
Daria: What else is on?  
  
Tom: (switches channels. We see the MTV logo across the screen, then switch to the   
opening of "Jackass") Jackass? Appropriate show title for a network of such caliber.   
  
Daria: Wait- isn't this the one where there is a full grown man running around   
performing dangerously idiotic stunts at the expense of the complete strangers' privacy   
and self respect? Or is that Tom Green…or the Andy Dick show..or..  
  
Tom: Stop, please, you've said enough already. (beat) I heard about a boy who sued one   
of these shows when he copied one of the 'dangerously idiotic stunts'.  
  
Daria: Please. If you're ignorant enough to emulate these morons you deserve to get hurt,   
just don't come cryin' to me when you rip off one of your limbs.  
  
Tom: Pff! Limbs, shmimbs. They're only extended appendages of flesh and bone. I sure   
as hell don't use mine too often.  
  
Daria: (scoots closer, slight smirk on her face) Except..?  
  
Tom: Except when I do this… (leans in and puts his arm around Daria). Or when I do   
this.. (puts hand up to her face and leans in to kiss her)  
  
(Suddenly, Quinn walks past)  
Quinn: Eww! DARIA pah-leez!  
  
Daria: (Groans, shifts away from him quickly, and puts her face in her hands)  
  
Tom: (narrows eyes, puts arm to his side) Hello Quinn.  
  
Daria: Isn't there a mirror that you could be looking into somewhere?  
  
Quinn: Mom just told me to tell you that she needs to take you shopping this afternoon -   
(looks at Daria) my GOD it's about time!  
  
Daria: Dammit!  
  
Tom: Daria, please tell me that my ears suddenly stopped functioning properly- it sounds   
like your sister just said your name and shopping in the same sentence.  
  
Daria: Sorry but you heard correct. My damn mother has been all over my case lately   
about buying a damn dress for the damn graduation.  
  
Tom: Are you damn sure?  
  
Daria: (sighs) Its not funny. I'm not exactly jumping for joy.  
  
Tom: Would you jump for me anyway?  
  
(Cut to Mall)  
(Daria and Helen are walking through a department store. Daria stops as Helen continues   
walking ahead of her, looking through the clothes racks. Daria stops and looks at a large   
hanging sign. It is bordered with pictures of thin girls in bikinis, tank tops, shorts and   
halter tops.)  
  
Daria: (reading sign to herself) 'What's hot now:.." (pause) Bulimia, apparently.   
  
Helen: Now Daria, please pick something conservative and… somewhat formal, after all   
this IS your high school graduation.   
  
Daria: Hurrah.  
  
Helen: (stops and looks in a rack, sees something and pulls it out) Daria! I found just the   
thing! Isn't it just greeeat?  
  
Daria: I bet that's what the ten year olds in the sweatshop said when they finished making   
it for the big American consumers.  
  
Helen: Oh please, can't you just enjoy this from the perspective of a normal teenage girl   
for once?  
  
Daria: (points) You mean like that?  
  
(Brittany and Ashley Amber walk onto screen across from Daria and Helen.)  
  
Brittany: Hi Daria! What are you doing here?  
  
Daria: Hunting for the animal prints to return them to all the happy, happy little leopards   
and zebras who want them back.  
  
Brittany: Wow! That's really nice of you. You're here with your mother, Daria?  
  
Daria: Only conceptually. She's just a hologram.   
  
Brittany: Uhh.. (thinks) I'm here with my stepmom too!  
  
Ashley-Amber: (to Daria) Hi! I'm Ashley-Amber!  
  
Daria: (agitated) Yes, I know. We've met before.  
  
Ashley-Amber: We have? When was that?  
  
Daria: A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.  
  
Ashley-Amber: I'm not that old silly!  
  
Daria: Mmm.  
  
(Helen stops looking through the racks and stands by Daria)  
Helen: Daria! Who are your friends?  
  
Daria: Mom, this is Brittany Taylor…  
  
(Helen and Brittany shake hands)  
Brittany: Hi!  
  
Helen: How do you do…  
  
Daria: …And this is her stepmother, Ashley-Amber.  
  
Helen: You're her Moth-?? aheh. Hellloooo I'm Helen Morgendorffer.   
  
Ashley-Amber: I'm Ashley-Amber!  
  
Helen: (scowl) Charmed.   
  
Ashley-Amber: We're here shopping for a dress for the school's after-graduation party!  
  
Daria: It's just too bad you couldn't pass to attend the actual graduation.  
  
Brittany: I hear it's gonna be real fancy.  
  
Ashley-Amber: It's at the Crystal Lake Hotel. I've been taken there a few times. It's   
filled with big, expensive, pretty things!  
  
Daria: (sardonically) Lemme guess… business trips.   
  
Helen: (sternly) Daria…why haven't I heard anything this post graduation party? (looks   
at her and raises her eyebrow)  
  
Daria: Um, I never got the invitation?  
  
Helen: You know perfectly well that if it's a school event, everyone's invited.   
  
Daria: Oh hell, mother. So I don't want to go. Big deal.   
  
Brittany: Daria! That's so sad! Don't you want to come and see everyone together for one   
last time?  
  
Daria: No.  
  
Helen: Well, I for one think that it would be a marvelous idea. Daria, we are going to   
look for a nice dress for that party and you will go, young lady.  
  
Daria: (pissed off) Hey, what about my freedom of choice?  
  
Helen: That'll be just fine when you're out of the house for good, but while you live   
under my roof, you will abide by my rules.  
  
Daria: (looks at the floor angrily and mumbles under her breath)  
  
Helen: (face softens, regards Daria with a pleading look) Please?  
  
Daria: (looks at Helen) (sigh) Oh, fine. Just let me snap on my shackles and we'll be on   
our way.  
  
(Cut to Dressing Rooms. Helen is standing outside a dressing room with several long   
garments folded across her arm. Her free hand is knocking at a door.)  
  
Helen: Daria! How's the one you're trying on?  
  
Daria (VO): Ugly.   
  
Helen: (agitated) Well you've tried on at least six already! (sighs) Here, I got you another   
one I think you might like. (persuasively) No pastels, no florescent colors, no ribbons,   
fringe or low cuts.  
  
Daria (VO): (Her hand hesitantly emerges from behind the door) Give it here.  
  
(Helen hands her a dark mass of cloth)  
  
(Cut into dressing room.)  
  
(Shot of Daria's socked feet.)  
  
Daria (VO): Alright, dress. One more shot at the madness. Screw this up and you're   
going on the dreaded sales rack.  
  
(Daria's feet step into the dress. New shot of a strap being pulled over her shoulder.   
Another shot, The dress being zipped up in the back.)  
  
(Shot of Daria's face, staring in the mirror. She stares at herself with wide eyes.)  
  
Daria: (quietly, shocked) Wow…  
  
(Helen steps into the room suddenly)  
  
Helen: Daria how are things go- (stops, stares.) Oh Daria! (starts crying.)  
  
Daria: Well, if you think it's that ugly I can arrange to have it burned…  
(Helen runs up and hugs her)… Preferably with me in it!  
  
(Brittany walks past the dressing room door, stops in her tracks and stares at Daria)  
  
Brittany: WOW! Daria, you look good!  
  
Helen: You're so beautiful! Can't you see?  
  
Daria: Um…  
  
Helen: Look at you! It's perfect! (looks at price tag) (surprised) Two hundred dollars for   
a piece of fabric!!?? (Looks at Daria, sighs) Oh but it's worth it. (reaches in and takes off   
Daria's glasses)  
  
Daria: Hey! Stop that. (rubs her eyes)  
  
Helen: Oh you could be so social, make so many friends. If you looked like this maybe it   
would be easier for you to open up to people and influence them with your fascinating   
thoughts, make changes!  
  
Daria: Today, the junior department. Tomorrow, the world.  
  
(Cut to the school. Daria is standing next to Jane, who is pulling books out of her locker   
and into her backpack)  
  
Jane: Dammit! (slams locker shut) I hate Mondays.  
  
Daria: Just be glad this isn't Sunday.  
  
Jane: Why?  
  
Daria: Because then tomorrow would be Monday, too.  
  
Jane: Good point.  
  
Daria: So what's the current countdown?  
  
Jane: (looks at her hand) We have four more school days and another 4 of   
finals…making a grand total of…8 more days until freedom.  
  
Daria: Halleluiah. Since you're so precise with your end-of-school analysis, you must be   
just as positive on any information on college?  
  
Jane: (shrugs)  
  
Daria: (sighs) Jane, when the hell are you going to know?  
  
Jane: So I sent in some late applications, big deal?  
  
Daria: The big deal is your odds are about half as good when you send in your   
applications last minute.  
  
Jane: Do you know yet?  
  
Daria: Yes, I do. And we agreed that we weren't going to tell each other until we were   
both sure.  
  
Jane: (dronely, as if she's heard it a thousand times before) … as not to deter our desire   
for trying out for our top choices. Yes, Daria, I know.  
  
Daria: I've taught you well.  
  
Jane: Yes, sensei. Your wisdom has been profoundly hammered into my head. Can we go   
now?  
  
(Cut to Morgendorffer house. Quinn and the FC are sitting in the living room. They are   
all wearing black equivalents of their usual shirts/dresses. )  
  
(Sandi is standing, while the other girls are sitting on the couches. She holds up an   
accessory in her hand)  
  
Sandi: For years, we have utilized it for its full potential, not taking advantage of its   
clever design and usual functions.   
(Daria and Jane enter through the front door, stopping and watching.)  
We worshipped its wide color coordinating abilities. However, after months of careful   
analysis of the latest top fashion magazines, our hypothesis can be affirmed.(Pause, looks   
down) The Scrunchie is dead.   
  
(Stacey wails)  
  
(Close-up of Daria and Jane)  
  
Daria: Boy, she could really give Nietzsche a run for his money.  
  
( Cut back to the FC)  
  
Sandi: Ladies, bring your supplies.  
  
(Each member is carrying a plastic bag filled with bunched up scrunchies. One by one,   
they head over to the lighted fire place and throw their bag in. Quinn looks sad and   
almost weepy eyed, Tiffany is blank of expression and Stacey is crying. Sandi stands   
somewhat sorrowfully.)  
  
Stacey: Goodbye, old friends! You were… (whimper) so good to us!! (bawls)  
(Quinn pats her on the shoulder)  
  
(Cut back to Jane and Daria.)  
  
Jane: Shall I start humming "Taps" or "Amazing Grace"?  
  
(Cut upstairs to Daria's room. The light switches on as Jane and Daria enter)  
  
(Jane steps in and puts her backpack down by the door. She looks over and sees Daria's   
dress lying on the bed)  
  
Jane: Whoa-ho! Someone has been raiding Quinny's closet!  
  
Daria: Oh bite me.  
  
Jane: Is this Helen's doing?  
  
Daria: Of course. Another ghastly attempt to transform me into Quinn.  
  
Jane: ( picks it up by the hanger) You know, this isn't half bad. I would wear this if   
someone paid me.  
  
Daria: I'll pay you if you go to the party with me. I'm being forced.  
  
Jane: Well, I was going to go anyway, but I'm always happy to see you squandering your   
money on me. (holds hand out) Cash or check, I'm not picky.  
  
Daria: I'm sorry, but I'm repealing my offer.  
  
Jane: Dammit, and I was this close!   
  
Daria: Not really.  
  
Jane: Oh.   
  
Daria: So, lemme get this straight. You were actually planning on going?  
  
Jane: Sure, why not?  
  
Daria: Two words: Lawndale students.  
  
Jane: Well, I am a Lawndale student, aren't I?  
  
Daria: Yes, but not one of the shallow ones.  
  
Jane: So wanting to go to a party makes me shallow?  
  
Daria: No, just insane.   
  
Jane: (shrugs, looks down) I don't know, maybe just to see the calamity of intense   
sorrow, happiness, disgust and relief unfold into the beautiful tapestry we call 'real life'.   
(pause) Strictly as a spectator, no doubt.  
  
Daria: (pause) I see…So, will you been dressed up as a puppet of formality like me?  
  
Jane: I don't know yet…I may just have to surprise you.  
  
Daria: Goody.  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two:  
- yeah keep going  
  
  
(Opening Music- "Graduate", Third Eye Blind)  
  
(Cut to Lawndale. There are kids running through the hallways towards a large crowd.   
Daria is by her locker, looks at the huge horde, raises an eyebrow in suspicion. She walks   
over to the large group, standing around a table)  
  
Daria: Oh joy. Yearbook time. (Daria goes to front of line. A girl hands her a yearbook.   
It's thick and black with metallic blue engraved writing on it saying "Lawndale High   
School" in gold, beneath it, it says 2001.)  
  
(She opens it, walks away from crowd and thumbs through it)  
  
(Jane walks up to her from opposite direction, reading it as well.)  
  
Jane: (stops) Can you believe it? Twenty six pages dedicated to the athletic department   
and only a one page insert on arts. It makes me sick!  
  
Daria: Welcome to the priorities of the real world.  
  
Jane: (closes book.) Hey Daria. So, do you want to… sign mine or anything? I hear its   
some sort of strange custom.   
  
Daria: Oh sure. (The book is handed to her. She opens it.) There's no signatures here.   
  
Jane: You're the first! Don't you feel proud  
  
Daria: No, not really.  
  
Jane: Oh just sign it anyway. (gives her a pen.)  
  
(After some time, Daria hands the book back to her. In rather messy handwriting, Jane   
reads her message.)  
  
Dear Jane,  
Hello. It's me, Daria. I'm standing next to you, you're standing next to me.   
Wanna sign my yearbook? And thanks for lending me your pen. What a noble gesture.  
-Daria.  
  
Jane: The sentiment is heart warming. (points to eye) Tear.  
  
Daria: Think you could do better?  
  
Jane: I'll give it a shot. (takes her year book.)  
  
(Jane writes in it for a couple seconds, hands it back to her.)  
(It reads:)  
  
Dear Daria:  
Blood is red, bile is blue. I suck at writing and so do you.  
Love, Jane.  
  
Daria: Ok.   
  
Jane: Well?  
  
Daria: Bile isn't blue.  
  
Jane: No, see? See? I signed it love.  
  
Daria: So much said in a single, four letter word. I can think of a few others while I'm at   
it.  
  
Jane: I will hear no foul language from you today, Miss Morgendorffer.  
  
(Cut to Kevin and Brittany, standing in the hallway also)  
  
Kevin: I bet you can't wait to read what I said, babe!  
  
Brittany: Ooh!! Lemme see!!  
  
Kevin: Here! (holds out the book)  
  
Brittany: (claps her hands) Oooh! (grabs it)  
  
(Cut into the yearbook. In childish handwriting it says:  
  
Babe- Have a good summer. ?. )  
  
Brittany: (looking angry) 'Have a good summer' and a smiley face!? Oo Kevin!  
  
Kevin: What?  
  
Brittany: It's our last yearbook together! When I show this yearbook to my grandchildren   
I want them to see just how close we were!  
  
Kevin: Oh. I can do that. (takes the yearbook, writes, and hands it back to her.)  
  
(Brittany looks at it. Cut into the Year book. It now reads:  
  
Dear Babe- Have a good summer. ? XOXOXO  
-Kevin ))  
  
Brittany: Oh you'll never learn!  
  
(Cut to Upchuck, standing outside a classroom, holding out an empty yearbook and a   
marker)  
  
Upchuck: Step right up, don't be shy! Any of you ladies interesting in leaving a John   
Hancock and maybe…some phone numbers, the table-is-open!  
  
(The FC saunters past, year books in tow. Upchuck offers his yearbook to them)  
  
Tiffany: Eww…  
  
Sandi: (smirking) Why, hello Charles. I'd be happy to sign your yearbook for you.  
  
Stacey and Quinn: Sandi, no!  
  
Sandi: Please, ladies. Can't I sign a fellow schoolmates's yearbook if I so please?  
  
(She takes the pen, and writes something quick, then moves away with her posse.)  
  
Upchuck: (grinning) And what has the lovely lady graced my pages with? A poem? A   
romantic ballad? (reads what she wrote, unseen by camera) WHAT! (looks scared,   
worried, then suddenly slips into an evil grin) Oh, a dirty mind I like that kinda spunk in   
m'lady! Grr!  
  
(Cut back to the FC)  
  
Stacey: Hey! I haven't seen our picture yet!  
  
Quinn: Oh! Find it Sandi!  
  
Sandi: Please, Quinn. Patience is a virtue.(opens book, and skims through the pages. She   
stops, and holds book up to everyone.)  
  
Stacey: (Gasps) I'm blinking! Oh my gosh, they got me blinking! (puts hands on face in   
disbelief)  
  
Quinn: Oh no! It's awful!  
  
Sandi: What? This is an outrage! (fumes)  
  
(Cut to Jane, Daria, Jodie and Mack further down the hall)  
  
Jodie: Here's your yearbook, Daria.  
  
Daria: Thanks.  
  
Jodie: No problem. After all, what are a few bland, unconsciously written lines as long as   
it will help you recall a dim memory of me in twenty years time.  
  
Jane: That's the spirit!  
  
Mack: (hands Jane a yearbook) There you go, Jane. I hope my lack of words doesn't   
disappoint you.  
  
Jane: Not at all. I'm sure it's much longer than what I managed to milk out of Daria.  
  
Daria: Nice analogy, but you should have seen the sentimental sucker she planted in my   
book.  
  
Jane: Oh there will be plenty of time for emotions later. Right now my mind has a basket   
of chili cheese fries in its undivided attention. Pizza King, anyone?  
  
Jodie: No thanks. I think I had some bad meat-like desert after lunch. I can't think of food   
right now. (clutches stomach)  
  
Mack: (looks uncomfortable) Uh-oh I think the wave of nausea has hit me. Damn roast   
beef brownies. Why aren't you guys sick?  
  
Daria: Sorry, but I like my desert like I like my men; Dark, rich, and lard-free.  
  
Jane: So in other words, we didn't indulge in the meaty goodness.  
  
Mack: Thanks for the invitation…but I have to…(covers mouth) Oh god! (runs off   
screen)  
  
Jodie: Yeah, bye Daria…Jane (runs off)  
  
Daria: Old beef, reverse peristalsis, and you.  
  
Jane: (points off screen) Hey what's going on?  
  
Daria: What? (turns and looks towards where Jane is pointing)  
  
(Cut to their POV. There is the table were the yearbooks are being handed out. There is a   
massive crowd around it, only there has been a large clearing. Sandi is confronting a   
meek guy who is sitting at the table. A large stack of yearbooks is sitting on the table.)  
  
Sandi: I demand a reprint!  
  
Guy: What!?  
  
Sandi: You heard me! I am not satisfied with this publication!  
  
Guy: Listen, I don't know what you're talking about…  
  
Sandi: There is a certain image on page 43 which has obviously been put in by mistake,   
or lack of intelligence I would imagine!  
  
Guy: Look, I'm just handing these out.  
  
Sandi: (grabs him by the shirt collar, pulls him towards her face) Well, then may I   
suggest that you do no further handing out until this mistake has been corrected?   
  
Guy: (cowers) Eep.  
  
(Cut to Morgendorffer Kitchen)  
  
( Quinn and Jake are sitting at the table, while Daria is rummaging through the fridge and   
Helen is seen far off in the corner of the screen on her cell phone)  
  
Quinn: ….So then the guy says (imitating stupid male voice) 'Hey… It's not my fault!   
Let go of me'. And then Sandi says (imitating Sandi's voice) 'Like, what are you going to   
do about it'. And then the principal came over and Sandi hit the guy and she was   
suspended for the day! It was awful and so embarrassing for us. I mean, something had to   
be done, the picture was just so hideous!!  
  
Jake: I remember my yearbook picture. It was during my ugly stage- braces, acne you   
name it! My old man saw it and said it made me look like a leper!! And do you think he   
liked having a leper as a son?? Nooo siree-bob! He said that now did he not only have to   
deal with having a pansy for a son but now a leper pansy!!! Well look who's the leper   
pansy now, old man, just you look!! Argh!!  
  
Daria: (pause) Look. Mom made her pot brownies again.  
  
Helen: (puts hand over receiver of cell phone) Daria!  
  
Daria: No, wait. My mistake. It's the opium meatloaf.  
  
Jake: (still reflecting on his dad) I just hope your maggot-fed carcass is being chewed on   
by dogs!  
  
Quinn: EW Daaad puh-leez!! I was talking.  
  
Jake: Why! Why? (covers head and starts crying.)  
  
Daria: (sits down at table) Don't listen to him, Quinn. He's in his happy place. You   
know, I'm sure that toaster oven over there would love to listen to your rants.  
  
Quinn: What?  
  
Daria: At least you could finally have a conversation with something of an equal mental   
capacity.  
  
Quinn: Ugh, why is my family so weird!!? (leaves table, exits room)  
  
(Daria shrugs, and takes a sip of some soda. Jake stops wailing, whimpers, and looks up   
at her)  
  
Jake: You said your mother had made brownies?  
  
(Daria rolls her eyes)  
  
(Phone rings, Daria gets up and picks up.)  
  
Daria: Hello. You have reached the offices of hell. The dark prince is out on a date, but I   
may take a message for him.  
  
Jane: (VO) Tell him he's a sick bastard for cheating on me.  
  
Daria: (slight smirk) Will do. Anything else?  
  
Jane: Yeah…Hey there, secretary.   
  
Daria: Likewise.  
  
Jane: Rough day, I take it?  
  
Daria: Oh the usual…woke up again this morning.   
  
Jane: I hate it when that happens.  
  
Daria: So..what's the news? Does it start with a C- and end with 'ollege'?  
  
Jane: Hardly. I was just wondering if you wanted to come over..you know, help me study   
for finals?   
  
Daria: Okay. What's the catch?  
  
Jane: No catch, just a chance to spend some quality time doing calculus equations?  
  
Daria: (slightly agitated) Mmm…  
  
(Cut to Outside Lane house)  
(Shot of Daria walking up the path to the front door. She's carrying a calculus book under   
her arm. She stops.)  
(Cut closer, Daria ringing doorbell. After a few moments, Trent opens the door)  
  
Trent: Hey Daria. Janey's in her room.   
  
Daria: Hey Trent. Thanks.  
  
(Trent looks at Daria's book.)  
  
Trent: Ew…math. (shudders)  
  
Daria: You're the Lawndale survivor. Want to relocate the numerical side of your brain   
and help us study for the final?  
  
Trent: You mean, they taught it at Lawndale?  
  
Daria: Yes…  
  
Trent: Oh. I don't think I ever showed up for that class.   
  
(Cut to outside Jane's room. Daria opens the door.)  
  
(Inside Jane's room. Daria drops her mouth open. Jane is standing near her bed, dressed   
in a black formal dress. There are two dresses on hangers on the doors of the open closet,   
and about 4 more lying on the bed.)  
  
Daria: (surprise/anger) Oh no…  
  
Jane: (turns around, looks at Daria.) Oh come on Daria! Please!?  
  
Daria: Ok, now I wish we were doing calculus.   
  
Jane: (has a worried look on her face) Well, sorry.  
  
Daria: Listen, I think it's all good and peachy that you're trying to be a conformist and   
everything, but I have schoolwork to do.  
  
Jane: (narrows eyes) Hey, can't you just help me pick out a lousy dress?  
  
Daria: Ok. ( points at the dresses) Eenie, meenie, minie…  
  
Jane: (sighs) Why does this have to be such a big deal?  
  
Daria: I dunno. You're the one turning this into some giant ordeal.  
  
Jane: Well, I did try to drag Trent into this but he got hypnotized by the shiny blue   
taffeta. I knew you wouldn't want to participate, but.. (hesitates) you were a last resort.  
  
Daria: (sits on bed, clearly upset) Alright, I'll stomach that excuse.  
  
(Cut to several minutes later. Jane emerges from the closet and stands in front of a full   
length mirror inside her closet door. She is wearing a dark green, form-fitting dress.)  
  
Jane: How's this one?  
  
Daria: Gee, isn't that the dress you wore to the debutant ball?  
  
Jane: (turns, puts hands on hips and glares at Daria) Funny, Daria, funny.  
  
Daria: It's fine.  
  
Jane: That's what you said about the last 3 dresses.  
  
Daria: Yes, and obviously you still haven't picked up the hint that I don't care.   
  
Jane: (sighs) Well this isn't going anywhere. I think you should leave.  
  
Daria: I thought you'd never let me. (gets up, grabs her calculus book)  
  
Jane: I just hope you find the time to pull that corkscrew out of your ass before we   
graduate.  
  
Daria: (narrows eyes) (coldly) Goodbye Jane. (exits, slamming door)  
  
Jane: (scowls) Bye Daria. (She suddenly starts looking regretful, as if she had said   
something wrong)  
  
(Cut to school, the next day. The school is in the middle of finals, students are all   
sitting/laying in the halls studying or sleeping. A lot of the kids are in sweats or pajama   
pants.)  
  
(Shot of a small group, sitting in front of their lockers. A few of them are reading text   
books. Others are signing each others yearbooks. Suddenly, a hand comes down and   
grabs two yearbooks out of the students hands)  
  
Guy: Hey!  
  
Girl: Hey!  
  
(shot up, we see the hand belongs to Quinn. She is in her usual attire. She takes the   
yearbooks, opens them up, thumbs through it and tears out a page.)  
  
Quinn: Sorry, but I need to make some alterations to these. (She takes the two pages she   
has torn out, puts them under her arm, and hands the books back to the students.)   
Thanks!!  
  
Guy: What the…?  
  
(Quinn walks towards Sandi, who is dumping a pile of torn out pages into a trash can.   
Stacy and Tiffany soon join, dumping more papers into the trash.)  
  
Sandi : I managed to retrieve, a commendable twenty-three pages.  
  
Quinn: I got seventeen.  
  
Stacy: Twelve  
  
Tiffany: Eleven…  
  
Sandi: Hmm…not bad. When we add this to our previous total (she takes out a sheet of   
paper…thinks for a moment)… Ladies! We are short at least 5 dozen yearbooks!  
  
Quinn: Oh no!  
  
Sandi: (agitated) Ladies, we need to pick up the pace! I will not rest until we have ridden   
each and every yearbook of our flawed photo.  
  
Stacy: We wouldn't want that to be the way everyone remembers us! (panics) Oh no, we   
have to get those other yearbooks!  
  
Sandi: Calm down Stacy. We have plenty of time.  
  
Quinn: (nervously) Um…Sandi, we only have 1 day left before it's summer.  
  
Sandi: What?  
  
Stacy: Oh no! We're ruined! (clasps hands on face)  
  
(Cut to students exiting a classroom from a final. Jane walks out, wearing gray sweats,   
toting a backpack. Kevin walks out of classroom from behind her He's in his usual outfit,   
holding a pencil in one hand and a notebook in the other.)  
  
Kevin: Ow! My head hurts! (clutches head)  
  
(Cut to Jane, who heads to her locker. She looks wiped out, a little pissed off. She turns   
her head and looks down the hall)  
  
(Cut to Jane's POV- She singles out Daria walking towards her down the hall.)  
  
(Back to Jane, she looks even angrier, she quickly leaves the scene)  
  
Daria: Jane? Hey, Jane!   
  
(Jane does not reply, and is gone. Daria looks worried.)  
  
  
(Cut to later that day, outside Lane house. Daria walks up and rings doorbell gingerly.)  
  
(a few moments later, the door opens.)  
  
Trent: Oh, hi Daria.  
  
Daria: (looks a little wide-eyed. She stares at Trent.) Um, Trent…where are your clothes?  
  
Trent: Huh? (he looks down at himself. The camera zooms out, showing he is wearing a   
pair of white and red striped boxers, a pair of socks, and nothing else.) Oops. Sorry Daria.   
I knew something felt different today. I guess I just thought the house was draftier than   
usual.   
  
Daria: (smirks) Right. (reverts her glance)  
  
Trent: (He goes off screen, exiting room) (VO) Want something to drink?  
  
Daria: Uh…no thanks. I just came here to talk to Jane. She seemed sort of weird today.  
  
Trent: (comes back on screen, this time wearing pants) Oh yeah, I think she's kinda upset   
about something, she was talking about some fight.  
  
Daria: Yeah…that was, um, sort of my fault. Is she around so that I can apologize for my   
lack of sympathy?  
  
Trent: She's taking a nap right now. Finals are wearing her out. Wearing me out too.  
  
Daria: You're not even taking them.  
  
Trent: I know, but watching people study always makes me tired.   
  
(Daria stops the hopeless conversation, and her eyes meet the coffee table in the living   
room. There is an open envelope sitting on the table, along with several brochures. The   
envelope has the return address from 'BERKLEY, CA')  
  
Daria: What's that? (she walks over and picks up the envelope.)  
  
Trent: I don't know, it came today.  
  
(Daria opens it and takes out a letter, reading it to herself.)  
  
Daria : (reading aloud) Congratulations...You have been accepted into Berkley   
University's prestigious Arts program… ( she trails off, looking a bit sad) California…  
  
Trent: Whoa… California isn't near here.  
  
Daria: (Puts envelope down) I think I should go. I'll see you later Trent.  
  
(She exits, Trent stands there silently)  
  
  



	3. Graduation, Contemplation, and Freedom

  
Chapter 3  
Yes, I finally wrote it. READ! Chapter 4 should be around quite soon.  
  
_________  
  
(Cut to the school next day- the final day of school. The students are in classes.)  
  
  
(Cut to Quinn taking a math exam. She sits, writing quick answers, occasionally glancing   
at clock nervously – The clock reads 2:58 )  
  
(Cut to Daria, also taking a math exam, in a different class room. She sits at her desk   
quietly, as she has already completed the exam long before her fellow classmates. She   
stares at the clock. Another minute ticks past.)  
  
(Pan to Jane, sitting several seats in front of Daria. She taps her pencil against her desk,   
looking frustrated. She mumbles some obscenities under her breath.)  
  
(Quick shot of Brittany, then Jodie, then Upchuck, Kevin, Mack and the Fashion Club as   
they all raise their heads and look up towards the clock.)  
  
(Close up of the hands of the clock- the minute hand quivers, then suddenly with a loud   
echoing "tick", the hand hits the 3:00 spot. The bell rings with a much more triumphant   
tone)  
  
(Cut to the Daria's classroom)  
  
Students: Whoohoo!!!  
( They get up, throw papers, and knock over desks. Shot of Daria sitting in her desk   
totally silent. A small smirk seeming to say 'thank god' spreads across her face.)  
  
(Cut to the entrance of the school- the doors burst open and students come running out.)  
  
(After a large cluster runs out, screaming things, Daria and Jane step out.)  
  
Jane: (sniffs air) Ahh! The smell of freedom! Goodbye, Lawndale! ( triumphant, fists in   
the air)  
  
Daria: (pause) We're still here.  
  
Jane: (beat) ..Dammit!  
  
Daria: So now what? I mean, I've been dreaming of this day since I can remember, but   
now that its here its..um…  
  
Jane: Not quite as thrilling as you had hoped?  
  
Daria: Bingo.  
  
Jane: Maybe you just need to let it settle in first. Perhaps after our big night tonight?  
  
Daria: I thought free movie rental night was last night.  
  
Jane: (annoyed) Graduation, Daria.   
  
Daria: Oh yes. The ritualistic procession of robed idiots parading with tray tables on their   
heads, following by a night of formal hazing and bingeing. Pinch me, Jane. This dream is   
too good to be true.   
  
Jane: (annoyed) Mm…  
  
(Cut to Morgendorffer's house)  
  
(Quinn's Room- Quinn is sitting on her bed, wearing something different than her normal   
attire- a white tank top and a dark red skirt, with a dangly necklace and black clunky   
shoes. She's rummaging through papers on her bed with one hand, holding a phone in the   
other)  
  
Quinn: What do you mean that I was supposed to pick up the other yearbooks! Tiffany,   
you said that you would do it! What? No, I'm not accusing you of lying (pause) ..what?   
Of course not! Wait, hang on. (She takes the phone and presses the flash button) Stacey?   
Hi- well, what are you saying! Tiffany said- (sighs) hang on. (clicks back) Tiffany?   
Listen- No I don't have time to- Yes, I'm in a hurry! I'm trying to get ready! Will you-   
(pause)! Ahh!  
  
(Cut over to Daria, who is in the bathroom. She's in her usual outfit, standing blankly in   
front of the mirror, cradling her graduation robe and hat in one arm. She slips the robe   
over her head, pulling it down around her. She tugs and it uncomfortably, then carefully   
puts the cap on. The tassel hangs directly in her face, and she steps back and looks at   
herself. She looks a tad angry and stares at the tassel in her face.)  
  
(Helen walks past the open door, and pauses and looks at her daughter)  
  
Helen: (smiling) Why, Daria!   
  
Daria: (scornfully) Not again.  
  
Helen: I just can't believe you're graduating already.  
  
Daria: And it only took 18 years. (looks at herself, looking worried)  
  
Helen: (approaches Daria, puts her hand on her shoulder) (quietly) I know how you're   
feeling right now, Daria. Not quite as exhilarating as you thought it would be?  
  
Daria: Um..  
  
Helen: I know. One side of you is relieved and excited when another part of you knows   
that you can't have that old life back, and you know you're heading out into a new, unfair   
world. It's a very bittersweet time.  
  
Daria: (looks down, says nothing)  
  
Helen: Don't worry. Just don't let your frustration out on the one's you care most for.  
  
(Daria looks up into the mirror at her mother)  
  
Helen: After all, they may not be around soon for you to apologize to later.  
  
Daria: (sighs- looks down at her feet again)  
  
Helen: (quietly) Just enjoy the time while you still have it. (smiles, and leaves)  
  
(Daria looks up in the mirror again, now alone. She looks ashamed, and pushes the tassel   
out of her face.)  
  
(Music: Graduation, Vitamin C)  
  
(Cut to Ext. Lawndale High- around twilight. A banner is strung across the front lawn,   
saying "Congratulations Class of 2001")  
  
(Cut to football field- There are rows and rows of folding chairs on the field, all filled.   
The front half of the chairs are filled with the graduates, in navy blue caps and gowns.   
The back rows are filled with family and friends. In front of the people is a large stage,   
where there are several faculty members sitting and Ms. Li at the podium.)   
  
Li: And so passes another chapter in the lives of our students! Another hurdle has been   
bound. Another bridge , crossed. Another stone.. turned.  
  
Daria: (Cut to Daria, sitting in audience) Another lunch, regurgitated.   
  
Li: (Cut back to Li) And yet another flock of our students head out into the real world-   
armed with the knowledge they learned and cherished during their years at Laaaawndale   
high.  
  
(Cut to Jane, in audience)  
  
Jane: If you consider the 'read world' to be frat houses, keg parties and pizza at 9 am…  
  
(shot of Jodie, who is sitting next to her)  
Jodie: ..And 'knowledge' to be knowing the latest pop culture fads and the ability to sleep   
through loud lectures.  
  
Jane: (smirks)  
  
Li: (Cut back to Li) But fear not, students, because you are ready. Ready to tackle the   
challenges and defeats the new, exciting world will throw at you. And also- the   
accomplishments and honor.  
(Cut to panning across audience- Li continues to ramble about Lawndale high while the   
camera scans the 'proud' families in the crowd.  
-Brittany's father and step mom are seen first, dressed as usual with Brittany's brother,   
Brian.)  
  
Brian: Hehehe..(kicking the chairs in front of him)  
  
Steve (father) : Quit kicking the chairs you little bastard!! Stop!  
  
(Pan across crowd to the Landons, looking excited. Continue panning across the   
Thompsons, the Rhuttheimers, and two Gothic adults: Andrea's parents, looking   
completely bored.)  
  
(Slower Pan across the Lane family (at least those who showed up))  
  
(Shot of Amanda and Vincent Lane, Amanda dressed in a semi-casual olive green shirt   
and long skirt, Vincent wearing a short sleeved collared shirt. The two are holding hands   
and looking pleased. Next to them is Trent, wearing a short sleeved collar shirt w/ tie,   
fighting to stay awake. And next to him is Wind, who apparently is the only other sibling   
who showed up- sitting next to the Morgendorffers-  
Jake is wearing a business suit and is situated next to Wind.)  
  
Jake: (to Wind)(weepy) I can't believe my little girl is already graduating from high   
school!  
  
Wind: (weepy) And little Janey too! They grow up so fast!  
  
(The two burst into tears and embrace)  
  
(Quinn is sitting next to her father. She looks over at him, and rolls her eyes. Helen,   
sitting at the end of the row, smiles, ignoring Quinn and Jake, and looks proud.)  
  
  
(Cut back up to Li)  
  
Li: And now, students. You are ready to graduate from, and say good-bye to Lawndale   
High! Please line up alphabetically to receive your diplomas!  
  
(light applause from audience, as students stand and start filing towards the stage)  
  
(a brass band, sitting off and next to the stage, starts playing 'Pomp and Circumstance')  
  
(Cut to the audience- the Morgendorffers)  
  
Helen: (addressing family) Oh isn't it beautiful? Eighteen years go by so fa- (stops) (cell   
phone rings)  
  
Helen: (turns it on, agitated) Hello? (sighs) Eric I don't think this is the best- I'm at my   
daughters graduation! (pause) No, not Quinn! Daria! (pause) (looks annoyed) My other   
daughter? Listen, I can't- (she takes the phone away from her ear, and forcefully turns it   
off. She smiles contently and lets it drop on the floor)  
  
(Cut to stage. Procession Continues. Daria walks on stage and receives her diploma from   
Miss Li)  
  
Li: Congratulations, Ms. Morgendorffer. I must say you have been one of the most   
commendable graduates Lawndale High has seen in years.  
  
Daria: Thank you Ms. Li. That was perhaps one of the most commendable attempts at   
flattery I've seen in years.   
  
(exits stage)  
  
(Cut to after the ceremony. Crowds of people are standing around, the class with their   
families, lots of picture taking, etc. Daria is standing with her family, her mother and   
father give her a hug)  
  
Jake: We're so proud of you kiddo!  
  
Helen: Our graduate!  
  
Daria: (pushes them away) No need to get so physical. I understand.   
  
(Jane comes up, taps Daria on the shoulder.)  
  
Jane: (looks at her diploma) Somehow, after 4 straight years of hell, a piece of paper with   
my name on it does not seem like a satisfying reward.   
  
Helen: Why Jane, it's good to see you. Congratulations.   
  
Jane: Thanks, Mrs. Morgendorffer.  
  
Jake: Say, why don't you join us for a celebration dinner tonight!  
  
Jane: Hmm, sounds tempting but I'm sort of attending a social event.  
  
Helen: Why, that's right! The party tonight- I nearly forgot!  
  
Jane: (addressing Daria) Speaking of forgetful family members, have you seen any Lanes   
around?  
  
Daria: Sorry, but I've sort of been suffocated here by my family since I got offstage.  
  
Jane: Alright, I better hurry and go look for them. Trent might resurface some painful   
high school memories and start destroying property.  
  
Daria: (blankly) I see more good in that than fault. I wouldn't blame him.  
  
Jane: (suspicious) Are you alright?  
  
Daria: Never been better.  
  
Jane: (pause) Alright, so I'll see you at the party tonight?  
  
Daria: Only if I can manage to fit my inflated ego through the door.  
  
Jane: (smirks)  
  



	4. Lost & Found

Chapter 4  
  
Yeah!!! The final chapter is up. Sorry for the long LONG break...I got restless, and I should be finishing up the fic pretty soon. Because this is still sort of a rough draft, i'd love to hear comments, corrections, critiques, fanart..any of that I would love! Email: Infestedmind09@aol.com   
  
_______________  
  
( Shot of Tom's car cruising down a street. It's dusk, he's dressed in a formal suit w/ tie, and the radio is playing loud- )  
  
Radio DJ: We here at WKIX want to say congratulations to the class of 2001.Here's one last shout out to high school angst with Alice Cooper's 1972 hit, "School's Out".  
(Song Plays)  
  
(Tom slows the car and pulls into Daria's driveway. He exits car, rings doorbell. He stands waiting, adjusting his suit and scratching the back of his neck. He waits. No one answers. He rings again, still no reply. He looks up at the house, all the lights are off)  
  
(Shot of Tom getting back in car, and picking up cell phone.)  
  
(Cut to Ext. LANE house. Enter Jane's bedroom.)  
  
(Jane is rummaging through piles of clothes in a frenzy, cursing under her breath. The phone rings numerous times, then stops. )  
  
Trent: (VO) Janey! Phone! ( Trent walks onscreen, standing in Jane's doorway.) It's Tom.  
  
(Jane raises an eyebrow and grabs phone from Trent.)  
  
Jane: Tom?  
  
(Split screen- Jane and Tom)  
  
Tom: Hi Jane. Um, is Daria over there?  
  
Jane: No, I thought you two were frisking off to the dance together.  
  
Tom: Well I was under that impression too, but Daria's not home, she's not with me and apparently not there...  
  
Jane: Daria's missing??  
  
Tom: It seems that way.  
  
Jane: Uh-oh.  
  
Tom: What's 'uh -oh'?  
  
Jane: She's been sort of...strange lately. I can't help but think this may have something to do with that.   
  
Tom: (eyes grow wide) Jane- I'll be over in five minutes.  
  
Jane: Ok.  
  
  
(Cut to Lane's Living Room. Tom is sitting on the couch, looking a little nervous, while Jane is standing next to the couch on the phone.)  
  
Jane: Well, thanks anyway Mrs. Landon. Uh-huh. Bye. (She hangs up) (Sighs) Well, she isn't at Jodie's, she's not a the Pizza King, and there's no reply from her cell phone. I don't think there's any other place she could be if she's still sane.  
  
Tom: But unfortunately we can't rule out the alternative just yet.  
  
Jane: Well the only other place that would be somewhat plausible would be.... (she thinks)  
  
(Jane and Tom look up at each other, thinking the same thing.  
  
  
(Cut to Tom's car, riding down a dark highway - Jane riding shotgun. Jane is wearing a long, black, semi-casual coat, and dangling silver earrings from what can been seen by the shot)  
  
Jane: .....and then she just seemed to stop really talking to me after that. I don't know why she's been such a bitch lately.  
  
Tom: I had no idea all this was going on.   
  
Jane: Well, where have _you_ been?  
  
Tom: Hey, I've been a little busy with my own workload to be Super boyfriend. Just because I've been a little too swamped to see Daria in the past few days doesn't mean i'm not concerned.  
  
Jane: Yeah, I'm not saying you're unconcerned, just inconsiderate.  
  
Tom: (grips wheel, grimacing) Dammit, Jane. Can you just forgot whatever ex-boyfriend disillusions you have against me right now? Bickering isn't going to help us find Daria, alright?  
  
Jane: Fine. (Heaves a sigh, and rests her elbow against the window sill and rests her chin on her hands)  
(pause)  
  
Jane: (quietly)........uptight little...  
  
Tom: What was that?  
  
Jane: Nothing.  
  
(Cut to outside of car, slowing down)  
  
Jane: (VO, from inside car) Turn here.  
  
(The car turns into a large hotel, just off the highway. It's large, somewhat resembling a Hyatt. The sign out in front reads in large letters "_________ Hotel")  
  
(They park in the middle of a large over crowded parking lot, exit car, and walk towards the entrance)  
  
Jane: Alright, we split up, no socializing. Just ask if anyone has seen Daria, and if not, we turn and high-tail it outta there.   
  
Tom: Sounds good to me....and if anyone asks why we came in together...?  
  
Jane: Say you're your own evil twin.  
  
(Cut to inside the _____ Hotel Ballroom. Irritating, pulsating club music echoes throughout, and the room is full of dressed up, dancing Lawndale Seniors. (_Ex_ Lawndale seniors at this point). Tom and Jane enter simultaneously through a pair of tall double-doors. They stop, and scan the crowd. )  
  
Tom: Wow. It's like the class I never had and never wanted. I can see what Daria was complaining about for all this time.  
  
Jane: Alright, I'll take the idiots dancing and you take the crowd by the punch bowl and the wallflowers.   
  
Tom: (faux-disappointment) Hey, why do I get all the dorks? (Gives a weak smile)  
  
Jane: Because they're harder to confuse. I'll meet you here in 10.   
  
(They separate, and make their way through the crowds)  
  
(Cut to Tom approaching the corner of the room near the food, and the DJing booth. He looks a little bewildered as he stares a the group, a large cluster of stereotypical wallflowers- Andrea, Dawn, the Burnout chick, and numerous unknown, plain kids looking either extremely bored or sad. He approaches the DJ- Upchuck.)  
  
Tom: Um...  
  
Upchuck: Please, Despite my overwhelming talent for musical selection, I refuse to take any tips tonight.  
  
Tom: Actually, I was just wondering if you happened to know a girl named Daria.  
  
Upchuck: Why, the lovely miss Morgendorffer!! Let's just say I happen to _know_ her quite well. ( growls)  
  
Tom: What's _that_ supposed to mean?  
  
Upchuck: Let's just say I've come very close, my good man. And what business do you have, with Miss Morgendorffer?  
  
Tom: (glaring) I'm her boyfriend.  
  
Upchuck: Oh. (Quietly) -eep-.  
  
Tom: I was just wondering if you had seen her around here lately.  
  
Upchuck: (chuckling nervously) Heh, well, no, can't say that I have.  
  
Tom: (somewhat forcefully) Thanks... (looks at Upchuck suspiciously for a moment, and continues on.)  
  
( Tom walks to the group of wallflowers, and a slow song starts playing. Tom walks up and stands in front of an unknown, heavyset girl, looking glum with her face buried in her hands.)  
  
Tom: Excuse me, I -   
  
Girl: (looks up at Tom excitedly) Yes! Yes I'd _love_ to dance with you!! (Stands, grabs him by the wrist and yanks him onto the dance floor)  
  
(Shot of Tom looking surprised and uncomfortable as the girl pulls him in for a slow dance. She squeezes him and he gasps for air, too bewildered to speak)  
  
(Cut to Jane, standing in the middle of the dancefloor, standing blank-faced with crossed arms, surrounding by slow dancing, gooey-eyed couples. She glances over to her right. Shot of Brittney and Kevin dancing uncomfortably close. Jane approaches)  
  
(Brittany is wearing a yellow halter dress, her hair in an odd altiduinous style and kevin is wearing jeans and a tuxedo t-shirt, w/shoulder pads, of course.)  
  
(Jane reaches over and taps Brittany on her shoulder)  
  
Jane: Ahem.  
  
(Brittany turns her head over her shoulder.)  
  
Brittany: Jane! ( Brittany and Kevin separate and face Jane) I didn't think you would show up.  
  
Jane: Maybe that explains why hell just froze over.  
  
Kevin: Gee, Jane aren't you hot with that big heavy coat on? (Jane is still wearing her black long overcoat)  
  
Jane: I think I'll survive.  
  
Brittany: What's up, Jane?  
  
Jane: Have you seen Daria around here?  
  
Brittany: Daria? (thinks) I don't think so...  
  
Kevin: Hey wait a minute! I think I just saw her come in with that brother of hers!  
  
Jane: (raises an eyebrow) Tom?  
  
Brittany: Kevin, that's her boyfriend, not her brother you dummy! (Pauses) Wait..._you_ came in with Tom!  
  
Kevin: (assuredly) Babe, she's Jane, not Daria!  
  
Brittany: Wait...you and Tom?  
  
Jane: No, we are not together! Tom's _still_ dating Daria.  
  
Kevin: So... Tom's _your_ brother?  
  
Jane: (scowls) Never mind! I'll find Daria myself. (Exits)  
  
(Brittany and Kevin look at each other)  
  
Kevin: Man, don't they know that dating your brother is, like, infanticide??  
  
Brittany: Oh Kevy! (They begin to slow dance again.)  
  
(Cut to Jane, leaving the ballroom. She storms through the hallway outside, and walks past a glass wall leading to a courtyard outside. Jane starts checking her watch, and then glances outside. She stops dead in her tracks, staring at the window.)  
  
Jane: (to herself) Daria?  
  
(She walks towards the glass wall and comes to a glass French door.)  
  
(Cut to outside in the courtyard. Jane steps outside and closes the door. Save for some old fashioned street lamps lighting a cobblestone path, it's pretty dark out. The courtyard is filled with shrubs, wildflowers and small trees, lining a grassy lawn. Jane makes her way down the path and sees a small grass hill near the end of the courtyard. A black figure sits on the hill, outlined by twilight in the horizon. Jane runs up the short hill.)  
  
Jane: Daria!  
(Jane runs up and stops. Daria is sitting cross-legged on the grass, staring at her boots. Besides her familiar combat boots, she looks quite different. - She's wearing a dark blue formal dress with spaghetti straps. Her hair is up in a loose French twist, no glasses and a tiny bit of makeup- mascara and lipstick.)  
  
(Daria remains silent)  
  
Jane: Wow, you look...  
  
Daria: Like Quinn, I know. (Sighs)  
  
Jane: Where the hell have you been? Tom called me a little while ago, worried sick.  
  
(Daria looks at the ground, mumbles incoherently, and then becomes silent)  
(Jane sits down on the ground close to her.)  
  
Jane: Daria...What's wrong?? (She looks over at her friend concerned)  
  
Daria: (sighs) I don't know exactly. It's, um, kinda embarrassing.  
  
Jane: Please Daria. You're sitting in front of me dressed in formal. I can't think of anything much more embarrassing than that.  
  
Daria: It doesn't seem like you missed out on that deal either.  
  
Jane: (smirks) Au contre. (She opens up her dress coat to reveal that she's wearing a running outfit- a tank top and gym shorts. She takes off her high heels, chucks them to the side, a pulls a pair of flip-flops out of pocket on her coat and slips them on. )  
  
Daria: What's with the Prefontaine getup? I thought you were excited to go glam.  
  
Jane: I was... until rational judgment finally hit me. I decided, what's the point of conforming, blending in with all the other fake, painted classmates on a night I want to remember. I thought I'd go out with a bang- sort of an artistic expression challenging the standards of formality and purely ridiculous costume rituals.  
  
Daria: You couldn't find a dress you liked.  
  
Jane: Bingo.  
  
(Daria looks down at herself and sighs. There's a tense moment of silence between the two. Jane glances over at her friend anxiously.)  
  
Jane: Daria, why are you doing this?  
  
Daria: I don't know what you mean.  
  
Jane: (bitterly) Like hell you know what I mean! You've been avoiding everyone the past few weeks, well, noticeably more so than usual- especially me. You've been distant with Tom and every time I bring up graduation you get pissed. Then you run off missing for hours and don't even think twice about how this might upset Tom or me. What's going on?  
  
(Silence)  
  
Jane: Daria?  
  
Daria: (quickly) Alright, so maybe this whole idea of running away from school and finally obtaining some sense of that freedom I've been craving for so long isn't all it's cracked up to be. So maybe I've been looking back at the way I've treated the situation and had some regrets. Maybe, despite how much I hate my old situation, have grown comfortable in it, and am afraid of entering a whole new environment that I might scorn even more. (Sighs, gets quieter) Maybe knowing that you're running off to California for four years means that I might never get to see you again.  
  
Jane: California? Who said anything about California?  
  
Daria:I saw the acceptance letter you got from Berkley. It was sitting open on your coffee table.  
  
Jane: You saw the acceptance letter, Daria. I didn't say that I was nessecarily going there.  
  
Daria: You mean...?  
  
Jane: I'm not going to California? No...well, not right away anyway. I figured I could hang around Lawndale for a little while before I ship myself off to a large, strange college thousands of miles away. I managed to harness a pretty decent job at the modern art museum on Dega Street for the summer. I figure that if things go well during the summer, and I make enough to survive I can start next semester or take some classes at a local college and reapply next spring.  
  
Daria: Hmm... (looks as if ready to say something, but bites her tongue.)  
  
Jane: You know, you never told me where you're going to this fall.  
  
Daria:(looks at the ground) Northwestern.  
  
Jane: That's great!...(looks at Daria) Yet I'm not sensing the enthusiasm from you....  
  
Daria: Mmm..  
  
Jane: C'mon Daria, its a great school...  
  
Daria: Dammit, it's not the school Jane, its... (hesitates) its the whole..  
  
Jane: Uncertainty?   
  
Daria: (looks up) How'd you know?  
  
Jane: Oh please, like you thought you were the only one.   
  
Daria: I mean, I uh, guess I'm just feeling sort of hypocrite now. I've been making fun of Lawndale high since I set foot inside it, completely resenting all the years I spent there, and now that its over it's like I might have accidentally missed something. (Deadpan) I see all those dancing goons in there and I'm wondering now whether or not I might have overlooked some aspect of high school, something that makes the cheerleaders extra extra bouncy or the football so damn exciting.   
  
Jane: You mean besides the major pregame binges?  
  
Daria: Maybe. And despite how much I may hate it here, I hate to admit it, but I finally feel like I've established my own dark little niche in the world. One where I'm the cynical bitch in the corner rolling my eyes at all the normal kids. When I go to college, I'm going to be thrown into a whole new situation where my kind will be a dime a dozen, and it'll be a totally new kind of hate that I'll have to deal with for at least another four years.  
  
Jane: Daria, you'll never be a dime a dozen. I mean, you're...Daria Morgendorffer! No one can change that. Yeah, we can look back at high school now and say all the good times that we missed but its over and you know what? It really did suck. College can't be any worse. If 3 other lane kids and manage college I'm sure I can, and you can too Daria.  
  
Daria: I guess you're right. (She looks at the ground again, and pauses). I probably sound like everything I've ever hated.  
  
Jane: Pretty much, but your secrets safe with me.  
  
Daria: (smirks) Thanks.  
  
(They sit out looking at the night sky for a few minutes of silence. Bass can be heard faintly pumping from the dance.)  
  
Jane: (looks up across at Daria) So...  
  
Daria: (quickly, nearly interrupting, as if both had the same thought at the same time.) So now what?  
  
Jane: (shrugs) I don't know Daria, I don't know. (Sighs)  
  
(After a few silent moments, footsteps are heard running up from behind them.)  
  
Tom: (VO) Daria!  
  
Daria: Tom?  
  
Tom: (out of breath) I've been looking all over for you, where the hell have you been?  
  
Jane: I was about to ask you the same thing.  
  
Tom: I was kidnapped by a group of wallflowers and they made me their human puppet. I was horrified but there was no escape.  
  
Daria: Well thank god you finally did. (She stands, Jane follows)  
  
Tom: (looks at Daria in formal with a bit of shock) Wow, Daria... You look breath taking! (He looks over at Jane) Jane, (hesitantly) you look, um..nice too.  
  
Jane: Oh, flatterer.   
  
Tom: (Extends hand to Daria) Care to join me for a pathetically sophomoric slow dance?  
  
Daria: (blushes a little) Um, thanks but I think we were just leaving.  
  
Tom: (frowns) You drag me all the way out here in a rented tux for nothing? C'mon Daria.. a final night of high school torture, for me?  
  
Jane:(faux warning tone) I think he's serious Daria...don't leave young Thomas hanging!  
  
Tom: Just one last dose of Lawndale High Cynicism, for old time's sake?  
  
(Shot of Tom, w/ arm extended from Daria's POV. Cut back to normal, full shot.)  
  
Daria: Oh what the hell. I think It might actually be good for me. (Takes Tom's hand)  
  
(Cut to Inside ballroom. Third Eye Blind- "Semi- charmed life" is playing loudly, lots of bass. Zoom into Daria and Tom, semi-dancing slowly, observing the entire crowd.)  
  
(Brittany dances excited past in her bright yellow dress and weird hair)  
  
Daria: Was it just me, or did a voluptuous teletubby just pass by?  
  
Tom: Teletubby? I could have sworn it was a Muppet gone horribly wrong.  
  
(Kevin walks by, stumbling, in hot pursuit, grabbing at Brittany's ass)  
  
Tom: Look, and I thought beaver hunting season was over!  
  
Daria: (glares at Tom)   
  
Tom: Sorry.  
  
(A cheerleader dances nearby in a blindingly hot pink dress, Daria eyes her.)  
  
Daria: Wow, I didn't know Pepto Bismal crossed over into designing  
  
Tom: Speaking of stomach aches, I wonder how Jane's handling Captain Kirk over there.  
  
Daria: I almost feel bad.... (she looks over her shoulder) nah, this is too good. (She smirks)  
  
(Pan across crowd. Jane is slow dancing with Upchuck.)  
  
Upchuck: (growls)  
  
Jane: (rolls her eyes, glares) Doooon't even think about it.  
  
(Cut to outside of Hotel, from perspective of where Jane and Daria had been sitting outside.)  
  
Upchuck: (VO) Hehehe..   
  
(a pause, and then a loud SLAP sound)  
(Music: "I'm not listenin' when you say..." ( music fade out))  
  
Upchuck: Owww!  
  
(Music Swells "Goodbye...Goodbye.....Goodbyyeeee!")   
  
(Fade to Black)   
  
  
THE END??  
  
  
  
How you like my fic, eh? I've been considering writing an epilogue or some sort of follow up, but unless I get feed back I think i'll leave it here. Please Review! And I promise if I do do an epilogue then I won't wait 3 months to update like I did last time. Sorry about that.. I DO have a life.   
Thanks for all the great reviews I got! I'll be sending more stuff in soon.  
  
  
  



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